Energy.

"Love the moment, and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries," Corita Kent

I had a work meeting this morning and one of the women who I deal with once a year, walked into the room as a much different woman than last year.

She was svelte, glowing, lean, happy, smiley. She had lost weight since the last time I saw her.

In our friendly banter, she informed me that she was retiring and then starting a new part-time gig. When I asked her about the new job she said that she was going to become a WW leader. How fantastic!

I shared my tale about how I just joined and am doing pretty well so far. Her kind words of encouragement were wonderful and her offer to be my 'buddy' when I feel low and at a loss was even more wonderful. Like AA only WW. Well, not like AA but really who are we kidding since food is my drug!

So, folks, I just found it was nice to have a little reminder about why I started this journey and about why I'm stickin' it to the streets.

I'd love to hit a 10 pound loss this week...so 1.5, it's war dude!!!

*hugs*

Enthusiasm.

"Love the moment, and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries," Corita Kent

Weigh day today.

Am down .5 pounds. That is a 1/2 pound I will never have on my body again. I am super duper fine with that!

While I tracked everything this week, I also ate above and beyond my points. I snacked on something almost every night (it was my period week, not that I'm making excuses but my appetite is ferocious 3 days before it comes) Too much information, right?

Anyhoo, I didn't gain and when I slipped my jeans on this morning, they buttoned really easily.

Oh yeah, 1/2 pound. Goodbye.

*hugs*

Fundamental Friday.

"Just don't give up trying what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong," Ella Fitzgerald

Last night I was making a mental list of good things that happened this week. It's actually not that easy to come up with a list. But, here's a crack at mine for this week...

- I tracked everything I ate this week (even though I snacked a lot more than usual)

- I took work home to get a bit of a jump start

- I cooked 2 fantastic and yummy meals for me and the b/f which turned out amazing (chicken cacciatore and smothered pork chops)

- I woke up happy and with lots of energy pretty much every day

- My jeans pull on comfortably and don't leave a crease across my stomach!

Have a fantastic weekend lovelies!

*hugs*

Enjoyment.

"We could hardly wait to get up in the morning!" Wilbur and Orville Wright

I actually love this quote - it's exactly how I've been feeling lately! Don't get me wrong...it would be oh, so nice to sleep in but when I do get up and out of bed, I don't feel sluggish or bloated or heavy. Instead, I find I feel energetic and happy.

Seriously? It took me this long to figure out the secret to waking up happier not crankier. I've been missing out.

Do any of you have mental tips and tricks to help you through the day or week?

One of my favourites is thinking about the upcoming events I have in my life (both short-term and long-term). Short-term would be this week and long-term would be in a few months kinda thing.

For instance, this week my short-term goals are a board meeting, a sponsor meeting and a brunch. I have these 3 things posted in my agenda and on my computer screen. That way when I find myself craving peanut butter cups, I look at the list and see that I need to make a good impression at my meetings and wow my friends at brunch and I kick the craving. So far this has been working. Setting small goals. Again, who knew? Ha!

*hugs*

Reason Wednesday.

"Why not learn to enjoy the little things? There are so many of them," Anonymous

Or, in other words, don't sweat the small stuff??

Well my friends, today's reason I want to lose weight definitely has to do with some big stuff.

Sweat.

I have always been a 'sweat'er - then again, I've always been pleasantly plump. However, I have noticed an increase in the sweat I'm producing the heavier I get. That can't be a coincidence, right?

more fat = more sweat (and if you are one of those people who doesn't ever sweat, CURSE YOU *shaking my fists in the air*) Not really. But really.

Oh yeah - and I'm talking about everyday sweat...not gym sweat. I actually love gym sweat. I like sauna sweat too. I hate the trying-to-get-ready-in-the-morning-and-we-don't-have-A/C-and-it's-30-degrees-by-8-am-and-I'm-sweating-after-washing-my-face sweat.

*hugs*

Mighty Mondays.

"A few words of encouragement can sometimes tip the scales between another's failure or success," Anonymous

Well, kiddies...I sure did tip the scales this week!

See my grin - I lost 3.5 lbs! Bringing my total to 8!!

Now I know my numbers won't always be this high but it's a great kick-start to weight loss for me and it's really forcing me to see that I was eating a lot of crap. Because I'm still eating a lot of food but it's yummy and good stuff.

We Canucks had a long weekend this past weekend and I found myself making good choices each time I ate. I had a vanilla ice cream cone one afternoon and then skipped the ice cream cake that night. I had a baked potato for dinner one night and then ordered rice the day after at my next meal. And these choices are coming easier and easier to me...

It's going to be a great week! If only work didn't get in the way... Ha!

*hugs*

Fundamental Fridays.

"My will shall shape my future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own...My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny," Elaine Maxwell

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls...

Here's another installment of Fundamental Fridays.

A post about the good things that happened this week. No bad allowed here. None.

Without further ado...

- I didn't snack on timbits or chocolate croissants at any of my meetings this week because I truly did not want them.

- I packed my breakfast and lunch everyday this week for work.

- I tracked everything - even when I did not want to acknowledge one particular day of yucky eating.

- I gave myself a manicure.

- I took naps after work to help speed up my healing process (so I don't get even more sick).

Yay me!

Have a lovely weekend - it's a long one for me!!

*hugs*

Effort.

"Whatever is worth doing is worth doing well," Lord Chesterfield

I caved. Totally.

I have been feeling quite under the weather lately and my b/f made us soup and sandwiches for supper. Perfect. Light. Healthy. I was within all my points and everything for the day.

Yesterday was also bbq day which meant hamburger, bun, snack-size chips and cookies. AND, we had a bridal shower for a coworker which meant cake. I was still within all my points because I made good portion size choices.

I get home last night, late, and KFC is sitting on the kitchen counter. My brains and logic completely shut down. I went straight for it and put my piece of chicken, fries and macaroni salad on my plate - then proceeded to watch Criminal Minds (really good episode by the way!)

WTF?? WTH?? Seriously?? Seriously.

I'm not going to dwell on this lil' mishap but it worried me for a bit that I did it so automatically. I didn't even think about if I was still hungry (which I was); that I had already eaten (which I had); that it was super unhealthy for me regardless (which I know). Annoying.

I don't think it will hurt me on Sunday's scale but it worries me a bit becasue all my other days so far have been full point days too. I made really good choices today and plan on doing that for 2 more days. Sunday will be a good day no matter what. This pledge to myself is more than just a week. It's a lifetime. The Colonel is bound to appear in my life again - I will be more prepared next time he shows up though...on-guard!

*hugs*

Reason Wednesday.

"The primary purpose of a liberal education is to make one's mind a pleasant place in which to spend one's leisure," Sydney J. Harris

My Friday blogs are all about the good things that happened to me through the week. We harp on ourselves so much for all the things that go wrong in our lives, we should also celebrate all the good things - because, there truly are many!

My Wednesday blogs are going to be about reasons I want to lose weight. In a previous post, I made a list of 25 reasons I wanted to lose weight (I borrowed it from another blog). As my reasons are many, I'll post them mid-week to help me get over the hump of journaling, eating, exercising, being obsessed with weight loss.

So, without further ado, my reason for this Wednesday is:

Belts.

I have a new-found love for belts. I would love to wear more belts. I want to wear belts without that mangy back-fat hanging over the belt.

*hugs*

Dreams.

"It seems to me we can never give up longing and wishing while we are thoroughly alive. There are certain things we feel to be beautiful and good, and we must hunger after them," George Eliot

I never would have dreamt that I'd be so heavy at this point in my life.

I can remember the time I started to really be conscious of my weight and would weigh myself everyday. It was in my 20's - when I began my first serious relationship. Ever since then I've hovered around the same weight but never crossed the 200 threshold. Then, one day, (I make it sound so miraculous but obviously it was done in well over a day) I was beyond 200. I didn't even see those middle numbers.

I sometimes blame my office job a little for this problem. Ultimately, my desk did not make me order a Starbucks mocha; my computer did not make me buy my unhealthy cafeteria lunch because I was too lazy to make something from home; my telephone did not make me snack unnecessarily because I was too tired to begin a new task. Blame can only go so far. Most of it has to lie with me.

I went out dancing on the weekend with some friends. I had a great time and felt like I looked great when I left the house Saturday night. I just saw some pictures now of that evening and do not like what I see in them. But...I only let that sad feeling stay with me for an instant. Instead the thoughts in my mind started to say "you won't ever look that way again".

I never would have dreamed that I can change the way that I think. And it came so instantaneously. Yay me!

*hugs*

Disappointment. Not.

"Nothing worthwhile is achieved without patience, labour and disappointment," Anonymous

I had a loss at my first weigh-in! Hooray! Major.

Which really may mean I was eating a lot of crap. I know I was and I also know that the week before I signed up for WW, I kinda may have sorta probably binged a little a lot huge on crappy food.

Either way - I was super psyched! And what was more exciting for me was that I felt so good. I have energy, no bloating, more pep. Those physical and internal changes mean so much to me. Almost more than the loss. And I am forcing myself to make good choices when I eat and when I snack and when I am bored.

I put on a pair of jeans over the weekend that in the last few weeks have created a muffin-top for me. This time when I took them off at the end of the day, there were no crease marks! Bonus.

All the little things add up and this is the momentum with which I am heading into this week. I can see myself getting out of the 230's soon and I can't wait. Getting out of the 200's will mean I won't know what to do with myself. Ha!

*hugs*

Fundamental Fridays.

"Nothing is easy to the unwilling," Thomas Fuller

Sexy title...I know. Try to control yourselves.

My blog on Fridays will be mini-celebrations about what went well this week. It may be about weight loss, relationships, personal moments. Anything. After a long week, everyone needs to look forward to the weekend and no matter how bad the week may have been - look forward to the next day.

So, without further ado, my fundamentals for this week:

- I tracked everything I ate this week. Everything. Good and not-so-good.

- After months of saying I wanted to visit our new War Museum, I went. It's gorgeous!

- I woke up at 5:30 am everyday this week and instead of dwelling on my lack of sleep, found a positive inner energy and didn't complain about being tired once (and I truly wasn't).

- I cleaned my work desk. Huge accomplishment. The paperwork on it was making me feel overwhelmed.

Have a fantastic weekend kids!

Wish me luck at weigh-in this week :)

*hugs*

Difficulties.

"Tackle any difficulty at first sight because the longer you leave it the larger it grows," Anonymous

Obviously the difficulty I am tackling is my weight...I have left it too long and it has grown large.

Do you remember the moment you realized you were too fat? Or fat enough that you wanted to make a change?

I've been reading on so many blogs that a lot of people seemed to have some kind of epiphany. Like a - Hallelujah - I'll be losing weight today - kinda deal. And then proceed to lose it and live happier than they've ever known!

I haven't really had that. I do want to lose weight though and am taking the necessary steps to do it. But, I don't want the small little voice in my head that nags me about not having a hallelujah moment to mute out the other voice that is working hard at making weight loss happen.

There doesn't have to be a voice, right? Maybe my big moment is comprised of a thousand little moments over the span of my lifetime so far...that's sorta what I believe.

What do you believe? Is there indeed some magical moment? Some feverful feeling? Some exhorbant energy?

*hugs*

Curiousity.

"Curiousity will conquer fear even more than bravery will," James Stephens

I am a curious person by nature.

I ask a ton of questions until I feel that I have gotten all the information and even then can usually find a few more to ask.

I am mostly curious, especially right now, about my outcome with weight loss. What I am going to look like? Will I ever make it to the end? Will I be happy with what happens at the end of my journey? Will I keep it up?

I fantasize, as I'm sure most of you do, about what I'm going to look like and all the fabulous things I'll be doing as a result of being thinner. Thing is, I try to do many fabulous things now too. I try not to let weight slow me down but there are times when I am embarrassed and fear I won't be able to do something.

A present example is zip-lining. I am SO PSYCHED to try this! However, I am also SO SCARED that I will be too heavy for the line and not be able to do it. I am SO NERVOUS that I will go with my friends and in the end, won't be able to take part. Sorry ma'am. The line will break with you on it. (Actually, that's really severe - I don't really believe anyone would say that lol) But, that feeling inside is still there...

So, one of my goals and reasons I want to lose weight is to be able to zip-line this summer. Be able to go to an amusement park and feel comfortable in the seats so I can ride the rollercoaster. Be able to white water raft and pull myself back into the boat instead of 3 men trying to hoist me in.

I'm most curious about how exhilarating it will be when all those dreams come true.

Imagine...

*hugs*

Excellent.

"A true critic ought to dwell upon excellencies rather than imperfections," Joseph Addison

I feel fantastic!

I feel different...and it's only Day 3.

I don't have that little bloated pouch of pooch because the fibre I'm intaking is helping to get the yucky stuff to leave my body (that's the most eloquent way I can put that I am pooping correctly) Ha!

I have slept soundly through the night the past 3 nights (my lack of sleep is not due to any extra-curricular activities either) Boo!

I am full of energy and have been told I have a pep in my step (to help me sort through the paper jungle that is my desk at the moment) Yay!

weight loss....oh, how I love thee....

*hugs*

Criticism.

"Don't find fault. Find a remedy," Henry Ford

That's me.

With my Weight Watchers week 1 book in hand.

I had mentioned that I was going to start it again but do it on my own.

Well, I have since realized that I need some help and spending the money would do me a world of good. Better than any latté or hamburger and large fries could ever do.

I have realized that atleast for the beginning of my life-long journey, I need to be held accountable. Weekly weigh-ins will help me with that. I also told my b/f who is hugely (no pun intended) supportive of me. I know that he loves me and is attracted to me just the way I am. Thing is, I need to feel better about me and he totally gets it. It's why I love him so.

So, I will now also be accountable to you. Yay!

*hugs*

Courage.

"I wanted you to see what real courage is...it's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what," Harper Lee

I often wonder if I am afraid of what will happen when all the weight has come off? What will I do then? I'm smart enough to know all my problems won't be solved by being thinner. I guess we all do hope that though - don't we?

We hope we will find the love that has eluded us.

We hope we will be bright and bubbly and beautiful.

Thing is, I have already found the love. I already think I am bright and bubbly and beautiful.

I need to lose the weight to make me a better version of who I already am. It's so I will be healthy and live longer than I might otherwise. It's so I can wake up every morning from hereonin and be glad to wake up and happy to be in the body I am.

All of that is coming my way. I can already feel it. It's happening.

*hugs*

Reasons.

"I am not afraid of storms for I am learning to sail my ship," Louisa May Alcott

I found this on a blog (Skinny Me)...and borrowed it. It is a list of 25 reasons why you want to lose weight. It's delightful and fun. And true.

Here is my list of 25 reasons I want to lose weight.

Have always wanted to lose weight.

Am losing weight....

1. I want my health to be good.
2. I want to live well into my 90's.
3. I want to be gorgeous and be hot and feel like the sexy friend.

4. I want to have complete confidence in the way I see my body.
5. I want to finally enjoy summer and not sweat excessively at the mere rise of a degree.
6. I want my family to not make fun of me for being overweight.
7. I want to weigh less than my boyfriend/husband.
8. I don't want to be the 'fat friend'.
9. I don't want to be afraid of seeing people from the past and fear the thoughts in their head about how I look.
10. I don't want to be winded from walking up a flight of stairs or the mall escalator when it breaks down.
11. I want to love shopping for clothes and wear trends that don't come in my size.
12. I want to learn and love to cook fantastic meals.
13. I want to have amazing self-esteem.
14. I don't want to keep nagging at myself to lose weight.
15. I want to feel strong and toned.
16. I want to feel in control of my food choices and health habits.
17. I want to look amazing on my wedding day.
18. I want to prevent diabetes since it runs on both sides of my family.
19. I don't want getting older to mean letting myself go by staying overweight.
20. I want to be able to borrow my friend's clothes.
21. I want to be the posh aunt/friend/coworker who looks amazingly chic in her old age.

22. I want to reach my goal at Weight Watchers.
23. I want to run a 5K and not be embarrased about the possibility of not finishing the race.
24. I want to be a good example of healthy living for other people in my life.
25. I want jerky ex-bfs to kick himselves when they see me.

(Note: I kept a few of Skinny Me's 'wants' because I felt the exact same way...)

*double hugs*

Conscience.

"Keep pace with the drummer you hear, however measured or far away", Henry David Thoreau

When I cheat - or eat something that I deem to be un-diet worthy, it nags a bit on my conscience.

It especially nags when I've made a pledge to myself the night before that tomorrow is a new day and I will eat right, get in some exercise and just be good to myself.

So when I start my day with a not-so-good breakfast (it's Charity McHappy day in my city) and find myself sitting at my desk working through lunch (instead of going for a walk), I wonder how long it will take for my conscience to start sneaking up on me....

All I can do is go on.

For my lunch I will be having a large salad filled with veggies, protein and light on the dressing. Same for dinner. I will limit my carb intake and up my veggie count.

Hear that conscience?? I will beat you!

*hugs*

Comfort.

"And remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand", E.K. Brough

I have been remiss in postings. This is my busiest work season though so it's ok, right? :)

I love and hate this time of year. It's the best and the worst time to work at a children's hospital. I get to meet so many families and patients that make my heart soar and make me thankful for everything I have. I do hate the stress that comes with the planning and logistics of our major events. Thanks be to God I'm an organized and patient person.

Those same thanks can be said about my weight loss. I have remained steady this past week (no loss or gain) and I know it's largely due to me not tracking and being semi-careful in my food choices.

The good news is that I have signed up for a gym membership to a new, local health club. The not-so-good news is that it won't be opening until August/September. But, that's no excuse. I need to fit exercise in.

I have found that I toss a bunch of foods together in the morning to make my breakfast and lunch for work. The good thing is that we don't buy too much junky food so it's pretty easy for me to toss a yogurt and fresh fruit into a bag to bring. The hardest part is actually eating that food once I'm at the office. Do you know how much junk there is to eat in an office setting??

That's another posting altogether.

*hugs*