Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Here I Go Again On My Own...

"The harder you work, the luckier you get," Gary Player
It's Week 2.
Day 2.
It's good. Things are good.
I worked out last night. And intend to do that again tonight and tomorrow night.
I've been down this road before - so gung-ho at the beginning and then it fades....one cheat, becomes another cheat, which becomes a half a cheat...and then I'm back at my original weight and then some.
This is to be different I say. This is to be the change in me I say. I'm not craving anything. My workout was hard. H.A.R.D. I barely made it through; but I made it through.
I'm bound and determined to work hard. But I'm also just living my regular life determined to make this style become my regular life. The food is good and healthy. The exercise is good for my heart and health. Why would I not want to be this way?
I do.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Living My Life

"Life is a single short sentence - but I want my life to read like a beautiful sentence, one that nobody wants to end,"
Neil Diamond
Day 4.
I officially weigh myself today.
I'm supposed to weigh myself on Mondays and Thursdays.
Since I was around a scale on Sunday, I count that weigh-in number as my start weight with this program. And...I cheated. Nope, not with food. I already weighed myself and I'm down. I would have cried if I wasn't with all the healthy food going into my system and none of the bad. No lattes, no french fries, no cake, no muffins. Am super proud of myself: day by day, week by week.
This is the only life I have and I want to feel good living it. Already I get excited to fit more comfortably back into the clothes I bought myself over the summer when I had lost 20 pounds. The pants I'm wearing today - yup, were a little snug 2 weeks ago. Not so much today. Those are the small victories I have to remember. And I can be vain - because this week my reason for losing weight is my vanity.
It's not the only reason, but for my life, for right at this moment, it's my reason.
It's the reason I feel sexy when I put on my matching bra sets and show it off to my fiance.
It's the reason I will feel confident trying on wedding dresses with my gorgeous, slim sister.
I am aware that life is too short though to dwell on, what some may consider, to be such superficial reasons. If we're honest with ourselves though - everyone's life has some sort of superficiality to it. Could be in the form of career, family, friend, child relationships. Take your pick. Why else do people dream of the grass being greener?
Whoa. Where is this going??
I just wanted to say today that I am feeling lighter, happy, healthy.
Even if it's just day 4. Gotta start somewhere.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Reason Wednesday

"At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child or parent,"
Barbara Bush
My reason today is vain as can be,
To wear pretty clothes is what I want you see.
To walk into the mall and visit any store I adore,
Not just have my choices limited to a specialty store.
It's fashion, clothes and style I live for,
Carrying all this weight is becoming a bore.
I equate them with love and taste and good fun,
Fall is my favourite though summer is great with its sun.
My reason today is vain as can be,
I want to be sassy, sexy and pretty.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Setting the Scene

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them become what they are capable of becoming,"
Johann von Goethe
Day 2.
No, I won't be writing and writing each day's accounts of eating out but I will be doing it for the first week atleast. See how I am feeling with it.
So, how did day 1 go for me?
Well, I tried whey protein for the first time. Didn't hate it. My digestive tract definitely hated it. I had to run out of 2 meetings straight to the little girls' room. Too much information? Well, it's what happened. I spoke with my trainer friend and he said to give it a few more days and see how the body reacts to it. I have also accompanied drinking the shake with a lot of water and so far (since I had it for breakfast) I seem to be doing ok *fingers crossed*
Other than that, I didn't cheat (though I don't want to think of eating in those terms) I want this to be a lifelong change. I came home before a meeting and was watching a little bit of television. Within my vision and reach were a bag of chips and onion dip my brother and I had munched on the night before (my last bad treat to myself). I could have easily just snuck a few - who would know, right? My next weigh-in isn't until Thursday and I can eat clean over the next few days and still lose or maintain, right?
Problem is, one snack ultimately leads to another. Maybe not at that time but on another day. And more to that point, I truly didn't want the chips. I don't like chips all that much. I'd rather wait and look forward to my 'cheat' meal this week which may be butter chicken or pizza. Either of which I am looking forward to enjoying thoroughly. Funny thing the relationship with food for some people.
Where did all these bad habits come from? Some are from family...some are from me...but I like good food. I like vegetables, fruits, milks and grains. Somewhere along the way I liked them too much. And became less active as well. I know my shortcomings and am working on making them less short.
Join me.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Mildly Obsessed

"Your own soul is nourished when you are kind; it is destroyed when you are cruel," 
Proverbs 11:17
Day 1.
I started my new eating plan this morning.
3 whole eggs and 1/4 cup of oatmeal. And I need to eat again in 2.5 hours.
It seems like a lot of food but it's small meals broken up so we'll see - I am giving it a solid 8 weeks.
Well, first I'm giving it a solid week. And then another week and hope to be in full throttle habit by month's end. Then I can work out another month to get me through the temptation we call the holidays in December.
I am slightly worried that I will become food-obsessed. Like always figuring out when I'm going to eat next, etc And this plan takes prep. A lot of it. Which is fine - I do it before bed but I'm also one person who doesn't have the responsibility of a family and children to take care of while losing weight and getting healthy. Today I am giving those people huge props because this is hard work.
The thing is, just like anything else in life, you're gonna have to work for it.
I am working for it. One meal, one day, one week at a time.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Fundamental Friday

"Man only likes to count his troubles, but he does not count his joys,"
Feodor Dostoevsky
Some of my joys for this week include:
- having a trainer friend create a meal plan for me
- actually being excited to begin this meal plan
- one of my favourite songs coming on the radio as I write this blog entry
- watching the Broadway production of Beauty and the Beast with my mama and sister
- running wedding errands with same mama and sister
- encouraging my fiance to shave of his mustache and beard for Movember
- going for a manicure/pedicure treat tonight
- relieved friends who live on the US east coast were relatively unaffected by Sandy
- blogging - every day this week!
Enjoy the beauty of the day and the amazement of the weekend!

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Being Me

"Never be afraid to tread the path alone. Know which is your path and follow it wherever it may lead you; do not feel you have to follow in someone else's footsteps,"
Eileen Caddy
You know what's funny? I've never really felt the need to follow in other people's footsteps.
I mean, yes, I want to be accepted as part of the group but even at a young age, I was a bit more of a natural-born leader (maybe being the oldest child has something to do with that) and kinda marched to my own drum-beat.
I can remember being in elementary school and swinging on the swings at the park with some chums and the conversation was about who wanted to be part of our 'clique'. That's the first time I ever even realized I was in a 'clique'. I talked to everyone all the time. When I made a mention of this, my friends were quick to tell me that obviously I was part of this group - I often led it. Huh? Me? Ok.
I can remember being in high school and a new girlfriend in Grade 10 asking me what to do for lunch one day and as we were deciding she says, I'll let the other girls know that's what you decided so we can all do it. Huh? We're doing what I said? Ok.
And to this day, when I'm feeling low about myself, my BFF has on many an occasion reminded me that everyone loves me, my style, my personality and there has never been an occasion where someone says 'oh that Vaia, we can't stand her'. My goddaughter just had her own baby girl and in a quiet moment together before the birth, she says to me how she can only wish that her daughter will turn out to be half the person I am. Huh? Oh my.
Now, I write all of this, not to toot my own horn (though it feels good not gonna lie...) but to remind ME that as I embark on my weight loss journey (with a new meal plan in tow) that it is up to me to actually BE the person that everyone thinks I am; that everyone sees I am; that I really am.
I will try to avoid sabouteurs (because they're out there) and some of them are in my own mind.
I've never really been afraid to tread the path alone. I've just always been able to find and/or attract people to walk it with me.  Maybe I encourage them to follow their own footsteps. Maybe my push to not be afraid of that path makes it that much less lonely. You think?