Thursday, October 18, 2012

The Weight on my Body

"When we cannot find contentment in ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere,"
Duc de la Rochefoucauld
Funny thing about contentment...I consider myself a very content person. I love my life, the people, the things...all the things except my weight.  On that topic I am anything but content.
Yeah, yeah - broken record. But isn't weight loss and weight gain a broken record for those of us not content with it? I'm doing ok with my weight loss. I gained back half of what I lost last winter over the summer - indulging in one too many patio cocktails and bbq'd hot dogs smothered in ketchup and mayo. 
Then I went and got engaged. And have my best friend's wedding in 7 months from today. Weight Watchers is huge on my mind and I'm going back after a very long self-indulged summer break (which seems to have been stretched to mid-October) and yet the prospect of fitting into a huge white dress and standing beside my gorgeous, tall blonde BFF is STILL NOT ENTICING ME TO LOSE WEIGHT.
When the H-E-double hockey sticks does THAT moment come? It's a myth, right? That light bulb that goes off and weight loss is just natural and easy. Thing is, I know it's work. I've done that work. Do I have bigger issues than I think? Am I making excuses for being healthy and happy?  I am healthy and happy though. Right? right?
Last night I drove home after work - knowing I was going home to a wonderful dinner my fiance was making for us. I left the parking lot, proceeded straight to the McDonald's drive-thru and ate a meal before meeting him for our lovingly prepared meal together. WTF?!? WTH?!?!
Ugh. Sigh.
I'm not an excuses type of person but after gorging on french fries and junior chickens - the very next thought in my head was you need to write in your blog. You need to hold yourself accountable. You need to hold yourself accountable. You need to hold yourself accountable. To yourself.
So, that's what I'm doing. Welcome me back with open arms.....please.

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