Childhood.

"If a child lives with approval, He learns to like himself", Dorothy Law Nolte

Childhood is supposed to be one of the best times of our lives.

I did like my childhood but I had a lot of responsibilities growing up. Both my parents worked full-time and as I was the eldest, I took care of my brother and sister. They had a fantastic childhood. They got to play, had no obligations, just worried about having fun.

It is also because I am the oldest that my parents rely on me the most. I love my family very much and would do most anything for them but at some point over the last few years, I have started to understand that I need to be me. I need to put myself first. No one else will, nor should they.

My sister makes going to the gym a priority. I put it after I have done the laundry, washed the dishes, gone grocery shopping. By then I just want to park my butt on the couch and watch mindless television. I then become a cranky pants and began to easily get angry with other members of my family for not helping out. What I realized is that I was taking it all on myself. What I also realized is that it won't kill anyone if I leave the house for an hour or two to take a walk or hit the gym. In fact, it would be make me more relaxed; I would feel better and I would attack the household chores with a much livelier spirit. All because I would have taken care of myself first.

I used to blame my parents for putting so much responsibility on me at such a young age. At this point, I am almost 32 and can no longer blame my parents for how much I weigh and how much exercise I don't do. It is time to embrace the inner child in me and have fun. Hit the gym. And not feel guilty about it.

Last night, the b/f and I signed up for our gym memberships at the fabulous new athletic club opening in the city. I put aside my feelings of not being able to spend the money on such a frivolity. It is a necessity and one that I need to make me feel, well, more like me.

*hugs*