Hate

"I shall never permit myself to sink so low as to hate any man,"

Booker T. Washington

 

 

And this includes hating myself. Ever. Which I never have - though I strongly dislike myself sometimes.  Like that time I ate fast food and followed that by another meal. Yeah....that wasn't a love me kind of day.

 

I was sick for a couple of days - and it was definitely my body's way of telling me to take care of it and of myself.  Mental health days are just as important as physically ill days - and often, I believe the 2 are intertwined.  I slept.  I vegged.  I was alone with my thoughts while sleeping and vegging.  I woke up refreshed - still with a weak stomach - but happy to get up and be productive in my day.

 

I've been considering 2 sorts of weight loss programs. One is the tried and true Weight Watchers which does work when it's done and tracked properly.  The other one is following a doctor and nutritionist program.  The money I'd spend is about the same for both - so that's not a main factor in my decision.  I think I'm going to attend the orientation session with the doctor and see if his program is for me.  I've known coworkers who were successful on the program.  Though I am worried about restrictions.  One of the many reasons I like Weight Watchers is because it doesn't tell me to never eat carbs, etc  The doctor's website talked about certain programs restricting certain foods for certain periods of time.  That won't work in my lifestyle.  I know myself.  I know I will never not eat pasta or bread.  I will never not give up fruit because of its sugars.  So, I need to be open-minded but I need to be realistic about long-term management as well. 

 

Am excited about the new opportunities.  I talked about it with my fiance last night as well and he likes the nutritionist idea - I am beyond lucky to have such amazing support in my life.  He tells me all the time how attractive he finds me, how sexy he thinks I am.  And that, in turn, has me wanting to be healthier, happier and sexier for him.  And for myself.  See? How can someone who hates themselves ever want to feel that way. 

 

*hugs*